Simply overwhelmed

Simply overwhelmed.

Buried.

Crushed.

Submerged.

I didn’t want to come through here this time. I’ll find a different route. I was silly to believe I had a choice in the matter.

Hormones coursing, raging rather through my body. Infiltrating every last cell. A planned takeover. A welcomed surrender for a period of time so that tiny cells, part me, part him can take root and yet it is still so incredibly hard.

3 weeks now, 21 days since the takeover. I’ve been managing rather well. Clearing the schedule for nothingness. Rest. Grace. Floating. Doing the bare minimum of running a home everything else left to sit stagnant. My body protesting every small action.

But today. . .

The overwhelm crashes in. The undercurrent pulling me down within a matter of minutes. No way to control or escape it.

Overwhelmed by the shear energy it takes to do anything at all.

Overwhelmed by the amount of weeks I know are left functioning in this state when every single day feels like an eternity.

I’ve been here before. And I know it’s worth it. But no matter how hard I try I cannot seem to prevent the overwhelm from consuming me.

The optimist in me proven wrong, again. You’d think she’d learn.

The only thing left to do. . .

Find the surface.

Float.